Hello, out there! It’s been quite a while since I’ve posted anything here on my little blog, which I apologise for. I can’t even blame my lack of presence being due to being really busy with other commitments because, truth be told, I’ve been doing naff all with my time since finishing Uni.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m still on the job hunt and am searching and sending out applications, but a lot of the time I’m just sitting around not doing much productive with my time. And, if I’m being completely honest, part of me is being a little bit selfish in the sense that this is most likely the last summer where I don’t have to do anything before I actually have to get a job and be a ‘proper’ adult. Even though I’ve now finished Uni, a part of me is still grasping hold of my student status and I kind of don’t want to let go too soon.
The idea of being a ‘proper’ adult scares me. I’d say I’m currently a responsible person but the sheer expansion of responsibility that comes with getting a job and then eventually moving out, paying bills, etc. is a really scary thing. I’m still in my early twenties and I’m still very young. I want to be reckless, carefree and self indulgent. I’m not quite ready to have to be responsible for my own home, paying bills, and going to work everyday. I found it difficult enough being a student and having to live off my own money (with help from my parents, undeniably) and even that stressed me out and scared me. Don’t get me wrong, I loved living independently (even if it was with two people that I detested) and would love to be able to move out of my parents’ house and have my own place, but I don’t want the responsibility that goes with it. At Uni, all utility bills, TV license and Internet were included in the monthly rent, that won’t be the case when I move out! I’ll have to put money aside to pay for all of these extra expenses and then top it off with money for food, phone bill, work clothes and, when the time comes, car payments. It’s a lot of money to pay out each month, particularly when you’re fresh out of University, young, and have no money.
My aim is to have a job by or for after I graduate in early September. That’s a little over a month away, which means I need to have a job by the end of this month or at least have a job that I’ll be starting after the 8th September. That’s really, really scary. But I know that it’s all part of growing up. I need to get over my insecurities and just take the bull by the horns. I’m not the only person in the world that’s scared and/or nervous and I need to have that thought in mind all the time. I guess it doesn’t really help though when you get the impression that your degree isn’t appealing to employers and that they think you’re a joke for applying for a job outside of the ‘Drama’ bracket i.e. teacher or actor. Oh well. Onward and upwards!