3 weeks to go

I realised that I haven’t been very consistent with my posts on this blog in a while. I apologise. A lot has been going on lately and I kind of needed to clear my head a little. I’ve also been focuses on other products to try and keep me motivated and busy during times when I’m feeling particularly low or bitter. One being another blog – far different from this one, I promise! One depressing blog is enough for anyone to handle, I reckon.

I recently started writing a beauty blog as it’s something I’ve considered doing for a few years now but never actually got round to it until now. I confess that I’m not overly addicted to makeup or beauty products but I do have somewhat of an interest and a general bit of knowledge on the products that I use on a day-to-day basis so I thought I’d at least share what I know. It’s got a very small handful of followers at the moment but at least I know there’s at least one person reading it and that I’m not completely invisible in this world.

I’ve also been really trying to get into writing again, mostly in the form of a new novel I’ve been working on since just before the New Year. It’s working title is ‘Lux’ which means ‘light’ in Latin. But the book itself is nothing but light, it’s got quite dark and hard-hitting themes really, in my opinion, which I thought was a clever little contradiction to make the reader potentially think whilst reading it. I won’t give away anything though as I’m actually quite proud of what I’ve got planned for it and am generally happy with what I had managed to write thus far too.

On another note, I’m back at Uni again for the last 3 weeks of the course. After that I’ll be done for good. I keep counting down the days until it’ll be over and seriously can’t wait to move back home. I’m so done with Uni and have no motivation to do of the work anymore. I have an essay due in 2 weeks’ time and I’ve only just picked my question and come up with a draft plan. I really don’t want to write it and have no will power do even start it. I did a little bit of research towards it today but my heart wasn’t in it and I couldn’t even finish the article.

3 weeks and I am free of structured education for life. Then I will be a ‘proper adult’ which, quite frankly, is terrifying. I need to get a proper job and earn my own money. As much as I want to move back home, I don’t want to be living with my parents for the rest of my life and to be able to afford somewhere of my own – even if I’m living with a friend – I need a sustainable income in order to do that. Until I get a job, lets face it, that ain’t happening!

On a positive note, I’ve started seeing someone. There wasn’t much of a connection with the last guy I was seeing and it didn’t last that long, but this new one seems promising. It’s not serious at the moment but he’s such a gentleman. We talk every day and have managed to meet up at least once a week during the month and a bit that we’ve been talking and getting to know each other. The only issue is the fact that we live in different parts of the country so if anything more serious were to happen then it would be a long distance relationship. I’ve done long distance before and, from my previous experience, it sucked. But I do know that long distance relationships can work – I have my parents as a prime example! Also, I think what makes a long distance relationship work is communication. So long as a couple can keep up good communication during the times where they’re apart then it will work. Also, the willingness to travel to spend time together is key. If this willingness is absent then the relationship won’t work. Additionally, if both aspects are absent then there’s not even much point in describing what you have as a relationship. I have first hand experience of this and I can honestly, truly say that I have never been more miserable and unappreciated in my life. It’s not fair and it’s not nice and I wouldn’t want that the happen to anyone. But this guy seems different. He seems willing to travel to see me and seems to genuinely want to spend his time talking to me. He’s a bit of a slow replier but at least I get something from him every night. It adds a smile to my face, one which has been absent for a while now.

Well, that’s my life at the moment. Not the best, but not the worst either. I’m getting there with my anxiety and depression, I just need to keep focused on what to look forward to and keep myself motivated. I’m keeping myself busy, which is helping. I can do this!


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