I don’t want to go back to Uni

Aloha, my lovelies.

So, I’m currently on Easter Break at the moment and I’ve been home now for nearly three weeks. I’m loving being at home at the moment and I really don’t want it to end. The last three weeks have gone by so fast and I’m now really panicking about going back to Uni a week on Sunday.

I’ve been able to chill out and relax at home and not have to worry about anything Uni-wise (with the exception of having to write a 2,500 word essay that’s due in my first day back) and, if I’m being completely honest, it’s made quite a significant difference to how I feel on a day-to-day basis. I’m less jumpy, less worried, less stressed, and am generally a lot more comfortable in my surroundings.

As much as this upsets me, I’ve come to the realisation that perhaps the reason why I’ve been feeling so horrible and depressed so much of late is due to being at Uni and being surrounded by negative energy, worry and stress. I’ve been finding my household situation unbearable over the last few months and I don’t want to have to return to it. I know that a lot of it has been due to my selfish need to be alone sometimes, because I’ve physically not been able to face the world some days, and it’s affected the way my housemates react and socialise with me; to the point that they more or less don’t anymore and that’s not my fault.

I came home for Easter as soon as I could, no arguments, and I’ve really needed the break. As much as I love my Uni city, I don’t want to go back to that atmosphere and then sink back into the misery that I seem to be encased in when I’m there. There’s only a month left once I return, which isn’t a long time really, but I just don’t want to go back.

I won’t have formal timetabled lessons once I go back – in fact, there’s likely only one or two things I’ll have to do within a whole week once I go back – so it would be easily justified if I chose to commute in on days where I’m required to go into Uni and not move back for that last month. If it wasn’t for the fact that I am still paying rent for that month, then I wouldn’t go back at all. That’s the only reason I’m going back really, seeing as I’m paying for somewhere to live I might as well use it.

But like I said, there’s only a month left once I go back and it will go so quickly and then it will be over. As of June 1st I will technically be able to start full-time work. Scary. But as much as I know I’ll miss Uni, I really want it to be over now.

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