I had to go home for a few days after the whole ‘incident’ late Monday night. I had practically broken down and needed to get away from Uni for a bit. I don’t know if it’s just the stress of third year but I just really want it to be over now. I’ve got three months left and then I’m done.
As much as I’m fed up with it now, I know that I’ll miss it but I just can’t handle the constant pressure at the moment. There’s too much going on all at once and I deadlines are all overlapping other priorities.
Such as, I’m working on my Theatre Company module and trying to keep up to date, but I have my Dissertation deadline in three weeks which I should really be focusing on at the moment and then straight after that I have my assessment for Acting for Media and then three weeks later have an essay deadline for Theatre Company and then further rehearsals for the Theatre Company performance, whilst writing academic blogs and a reflective report for Acting for Media. Phew… there is just no leeway and I’m struggling to keep on top of everything.
I know that this is typically a ‘normal’ Uni year for some students but for me this is different from other years where all of our assignments have all been at the end of the term before the holidays. All of these sporadic deadlines is a headache and I can’t seem to be able to timetable myself days to research, write and focus on particular assignments – I should really be researching for my Theatre Company essay but a) haven’t really thought about it yet, b) I’m more focused on finishing/editing my Dissertation before I even want to consider looking into my next assignment, and c) I don’t actually have a clue what I’m supposed to write.
I’ve been writing essays for examination for seven years now (GCSE through the Degree level) and I’m just sick and tired of having to sit and write them. I haven’t got the motivation and I haven’t got enough interest in them. Because writing academically is so strenuous and time consuming I now don’t have the same level of love for writing for pleasure as I used to and very rarely actually find myself sitting and writing of my own free accord; it’s been so long since I actually contributed anything further to my current on going writing projects (another little tid-bit about my life for you there, by the way. Maybe I’ll go further into that in another blog entry. Who knows…)
I’m just done with Uni now and I want it to be over. Yes, I’ll miss it when I actually have to go out and find a real job and be a ‘proper’ adult, but I’m just done with the stress and the essays and the general unhappiness I’ve sunken into. Going home helped a lot and proved that I am a lot happier at home than I am at Uni. The Easter break will be bliss!