Now, this may sound silly considering I’m a Drama student but I really hate going to auditions. Okay, maybe hate is a little harsh, but I don’t like them much.
I always get really nervous and feel self conscious about myself, particular if it’s in front of other auditionees – it bad enough just in front of the ‘judges’. I don’t like to feel judged, and auditions are just the number one place to avoid if you don’t like this feeling. So, why be a drama student if you don’t like auditioning for things or be judged on your acting abilities!? I know, I don’t have a clue either…
I guess I used to enjoy going to auditions, mostly because growing up I was one of the few kids I knew that actually had a genuine interest in Performing Arts and wanted to be in all the school show, Amateur Dramatics performances, etc. and I often got the parts I auditioned for. However, since coming to University the roles have reversed. I don’t get cast in a lot of things with my preferred parts, I don’t even make it to call backs a lot of the time anymore and it’s just really disheartening. But I guess that’s life, really.
With this in mind, I know that I can’t let low self esteem and low self worth get to me, particularly in my final year of University. I’ve already missed out on so many opportunities that I would have loved to have been involved in but didn’t audition because I didn’t think I was good enough or wouldn’t get in. But today I finally went to an audition!
It was for a voice over opportunity that is being organised by a company located within Lincoln that I was made aware of through student emails. I thought, no one’s gonna see my face sooo… why not? So I emailed with interest and got an audition. Just like that. Simple. It was at 11:45am today and, you know what? I wasn’t nervous in the slightest. I just went in with the mentality that if I didn’t get it then it didn’t matter but if I did get it then that is a bonus. It’s all experience at the end of the day.
It actually went really well. The two guys auditioning me gave positive feedback and gave compliments on my performance, which is always nice to hear. They took my contact details and said they would get back to me. If they do, great! If they don’t, at least I tried. This is going to be my new approach to 2014 and beyond!
Also, if this wasn’t rocking the boat enough, I’m going for another audition tomorrow for a production of David Greig’s The cosmonaut’s last message to the woman he once loved in the former Soviet Union (a bit of a mouthful, but lets just shorten it to the Cosmonaut’s Last Message). I was actually approached by one of my lecturers who encouraged me to go up for one of the roles as they know that I’m capable of speaking in a Scottish accents for a long period of time and felt that I could play this particular role well. It’s the first time in a long time that I’ve been encouraged to go up for a role and it made me feel good to have even been considered or thought about. So, I’m auditioning tomorrow morning at 11am. Hopefully it’ll be good and, again, if I get cast then that’s great but if I don’t then at least I tried!